Irreproachable Honourableness

Matters of life and death

After reading this (from John Owen Quote Index):

I will not judge a person to be spiritually dead whom I have judged formerly to have had spiritual life, though I see him at present in a swoon (faint)as to all evidences of the spiritual life. And the reason why I will not judge him so is this -- because if you judge a person dead, you neglect him, you leave him; but if you judge him in a swoon,(faint) though never so dangerous, you use all means for the retrieving of his life.

God forgive me! Whom have I passed by and left them for dead?

Asking for insight, not forgiveness

Sometimes, when counseling someone on repenting of a sin against someone else (especially a spouse), I've passed on advice I've heard from others: Don't ask for forgiveness; ask for insight.

The idea is to avoid the (masculine?) tendency to say, “I'm sorry…. Are we all better now?” by asking first, “How did my sin hurt you? What did it feel like? What did you think I was doing?”

In What makes for a great apology?, Phil Monroe rounds this out far better than I ever could have, including the idea but expanding upon it. It's scary, actually:

3. Please tell me how my actions impacted you and others.
4. What can I do to relieve your pain? How can I make it right?

…

The sacrificial nature of the 3rd and 4th items may be the hardest for us to do, especially if we think the other party either started it or sinned against us as well.

On being welcoming

In The other side of the community thing..., the author writes about visiting a large church:

Again, it's the individual's responsiblity to connect, but if everything in the atmosphere of the place communicates a message that "connecting here is an uphill battle" and "Sure, we love it that you are here, Parishoner Number 4,513!" then many people will choose to exit out the back door.

Wisely, bob.blog goes on to admit the difficulties:

This is a hard discussion to have for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we are talking about a LOT of different kinds of people. There are those who want community handed to them without doing the work of building relationships, showing up and being present, putting yourself out there. Believe me—they exist.

Then there are people who are genuinely less skilled at building relationships and need some help from a community. They need to be reassured time and again that they are welcomed, they need someone to notice that they are floating a bit and have people reach out to them.

And then there are those who are just hurting—they have been damaged by life and they need a community to embrace them because right now, embracing others is a practical impossiblity.

Food for thought...

Not just to his people...

Phil Monroe asks Do you see a river of life (creation) or only a river of death (sin)?. Then, discussing a sermon on Ezekiel 47, he describes how a stream of fresh water from the throne fills even the Dead Sea with life:

But, God's healing waters flood the area and washes out death. Along the banks of the river, trees of healing bear fruit. This is the ever expanding mission of God moving out from the temple to his people.

Go further, Phil: take us all the way home. Not just for God's people in a narrow sense, but to call people to Himself from all the world:

Revelation 22: Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.

I've Built Walls... Have I dug my own cistern?

Dan Edelen writes that An Island Never Cries:

It's going to cost us something if we reach out the lonely and isolated. We may not get to do what we want each night of the week. We may have a little less private time. We might have to pick up the restaurant check. But the Kingdom of God pays dividends, so that whatever's spent returns ten, fifty, and hundredfold. We get back more than what we give, especially when we pour grace into the lives of lonely people. What a powerful revelation to hear someone say, "In the midst of my loneliness, when I thought no one cared, you were there for me." Do you think a person like that would be more open to hearing the truth of Jesus' Gospel? Or to desire to grow in true discipleship?

Who will go, if we don't? Who will see, if we don't? How will we answer when we give an account?